I've learned through various news sources that the health care bill that Nance and her Merry Band of Comrades were crowing about the other day prohibits health insurance providers from capping lifetime benefits.

I'm trying to figure out how this will work. Basically, there is this thing called an "actuarial table," which is used to calculate the annual price of a plan based on expected lifespans versus defined total benefits, which is also how an insurance company determines what rate of return they must get on their investments so that they can sell policies at X amount. If the benefits are infinite, how do you determine the price of a plan?

The only way this makes sense is that Nancy Pelosi must know the secret of investing for UNLIMITED, GUARANTEED PROFITS! It's so obvious! Nance knows how to generate unlimited income through investing and makes infinitely profitable winning investment picks every time. Otherwise, her plan would make no sense at all, and she wouldn't make a nonsense proposal, right?

Nancy, give up the goods. Give me the secret of UNLIMITED, GUARANTEED INVESTING PROFITS! Clearly, you know it and I want it!